New Year, New Me

Every year on January first people all around the world set New Years resolutions. Many people set measurable goals such as lose X amount of pounds or go to the gym X times a week. I normally fall under this category as well, however this year I took a different approach to my resolutions. This year I plan to be gentler on myself.

I often beat myself up about not doing something perfectly, not knowing where I will intern, what exactly I want to do with my life, not continuing things I used to love, not having control over everything in my life or not being as healthy as I wish I was.

What I’ve realized is that I may not have it all together, but I am doing my best. I’m only human and I can’t possibly have it all figured out. I may not know what I want to do with my life or where I want to go after graduation, but I’ll figure it out as opportunities present themselves and I continue to grow both in what I’m learning and personally.

The past two weeks I’ve been working on this resolution by taking time for myself outside of my school commitments. I’ve been playing piano a lot, something I’ve always loved but have felt I needed to put aside to work on things for my future career. But the thing is, in order to live a full life you need to make time for what you love to do, things that you aren’t evaluated or graded on- things that just make you happy. I’ve also been going to the gym more and also working on not allowing events outside of my control to bother me as much as they used to.

My resolutions may not be able to be measured in a spreadsheet or visible to the world, but I will know if I’m making progress. And ya know what? If it isn’t a fast process or I lose my way sometimes… it will be ok because I’m doing the best I can and that’s all I can ask from myself.

Home for the Holidays

Holiday season is among us which means lots of food, time with family and friends, relaxation and the warm and fuzzy feelings that come along with winter holidays. One thing that I love about coming home from school for Thanksgiving and Christmas is getting to see old friends. Living seven hours away from home and high school friends can be really hard and it is easy to let the distance in miles create a distance in our relationships but I’ve discovered that with some work it’s possible to actually become closer despite the distance.

My freshman year of college I barely spoke with people from high school. We were all wrapped up in our new lives at school with new friends, no parents around, and basically living on our own. On birthdays we’d exchange brief phone calls and occasionally we’d text or Facebook each other, but these small exchanges were rare. When we came home for breaks nobody took the initiative to get together and if we did see each other, it felt sort of awkward because it was like we were in different worlds didn’t know how to connect other than talk about things that happened in high school.

Sophomore year things changed. I have a lot of friends at school that are still extremely close with people from high school and when I thought about old times or looked at pictures it would make me so sad that we had drifted apart. I knew that I didn’t want to lose these people but if something didn’t change, it looked like we were headed down that path. I started messaging friends more and made sure that we all saw each other over breaks. Conversations got easier and we all started figuring out ways to connect without having to rehash high school.

Now in my junior year I have visited a friend at school in Chicago, two have visited me in Indiana, and we all see each other every time we are home. I talk to at least one of them almost every single day and the snap chats are constant. Believe me, it took a lot of work to get back to this point and still requires work to keep it going. It’s not easy to coordinate a get together with 6 or 7 college students home for Thanksgiving Break. Everyone has family stuff going on and different time requirements, but I’ve taken it upon myself to text…and retext… and retext the plans to everyone until we find something that works for everyone. Despite the work and sometimes frustration from coordinating, it is most definitely worth it. Last Friday as we all smashed onto one couch, took goofy pictures, played simon says and laughed till we cried, all I could do was look at these people who mean so much to me and be thankful that although hundreds of miles separate us, we’ve grown closer together.

Make Time to Make Memories

As a student who is very dedicated to my school work and grades I know that life in school can seem overwhelming. There are so many days when I feel like finishing all of my assignments, studying for exams, and working on group projects just won’t get done because there’s too much. It can be very stressful and feels like all you can focus on. But what I have to sometimes remind myself is that years from now I’m not going to remember all the nights that I avoided friends, going out, or laughing historically in the living room. I’m going to remember working hard at my grades but I’m not going to remember individual times, it’s just going to be one big blur of studying.

When I force myself to take a break and do something random on a weekday night like staying up till 3 a.m. live tweeting a High School Musical marathon with my sisters, or seeing a play, or celebrating a friends 21st birthday, I know that I will always remember. I know that when I look back on college, those are the nights that I’m going to remember and look fondly on. Tonight I went to an event with my sorority sisters where we paired with a fraternity and learned different ballroom dancing styles. We all dressed up, gathered in the big ball room, had little appetizers, and had a blast learning dances and getting to know each other.

Moral of the story, keep your grades up. Don’t fall too behind in classes and neglect what you are responsible to finish. However with that being said, don’t neglect your friends. Don’t be afraid to put your homework aside to have a fun time because if you’re a good student, you will always find time to get it done. Make time to make memories.

“Friends”

My favorite TV show of all time is “Friends” because I love the characters. Watching the show you feel like you’re part of the gang and whenever I watch, I always have a warm fuzzy feeling. If I’m having a bad day, I will instantly turn to “Friends” and watch as many episodes as it takes to make me feel better. I own 4 seasons and have watched all 10 seasons all the way through probably 4 or 5 times. The show also somewhat brought me to one of my very best friends, it was one of the first things we talked about when we met each other and I made her watch all the episodes and we’d talk about the characters and their lives. Each character has their quirks and makes them seem like real people, not just made up characters.

Luckily, I have friends in my life that are similar to the characters in the show. They all would be there for me no matter what and have characteristics that fit those in the show.

Meet Ashely, she’s the girl I mentioned above and is one of my best friends. She is my Monica. She’s extremely organized and everything has to be clean and perfect or it stresses her out. However she still loves me even though I am not the world’s tidiest person. She’s also pretty competitive, and if we are going to do something we are going to do it all out and be the best at it. Monica also is very family oriented and values serious relationships. She is loyal to her friends and boyfriend and Ashely is the same way. I know I can turn to her for anything just like Rachel (Green) can turn to Monica. She listens to me, gives me really good advice, makes me laugh, and is my partner in crime.

Next comes (my) Joey… Caleb. Caleb and I have known each other since kindergarten and decided we should probably be friends in middle school and have been best friends ever since. Like Joey, Caleb is very handsome and has no trouble with the ladies. Both of them are funny and always have a comment on whats going on. Caleb’s very smooth like Joey and even if he doesn’t know what’s going on or what to say, he’ll come up with some smooth comment that makes you question what you’re saying and usually makes you laugh. Joey has a heart of gold and hates to see his friends upset. Caleb has been there for me in the good times and bad and always knows exactly what to say to make me feel better. Now we live seven hours apart but he still manages to make me laugh everyday and I know that he will always have my back.

Moving on to Phoebe… Phoebe is one of the goofiest characters on the show because of her out there comments and quirky personality. My Phoebe is Liz. Liz is one of the craziest people I know: she always has something to say and jokes around all the time. Phoebe is sometimes considered childlike, innocent, and the “weird” one of the group. At the same time, “street Phoebe” is one of the toughest chicks around. Liz is very sweet and innocent with a goofy personality that will always keep you smiling. Though she holds onto that innocence, she definitely has a tough side also and is very protective of the people she loves. Phoebe always comes up with funny simple ways to make people feel better like making a mess so that Monica can clean it up to make her feel better when she’s sad. Liz is the same way and while she might not have super deep advice to give like Monica, I love that she’ll just say… “let’s go to taco bell” or “wana eat a whole roll of cookie dough?” She is a bundle of joy and I don’t know what I would do without her in my life.

Chandler is one of my favorite characters in the show because he has clever jokes and often you have to be paying attention to catch them. Chandler is my friend Grant. Grant is another middle school turned lifetime bestie and if you pay attention is hilarious. He doesn’t make super obvious jokes, and takes time and pride in his comments and jokes about things. He can be awkward in situations just like Chandler and can usually be convinced to do things. He tries to put on a tough guy persona, but anyone that knows him well, knows that he is a teddy bear. He can always be counted on and is extremely loyal, just like Chandler. I love him dearly and am so thankful that I’m lucky enough to have him in my life.

And finally we have Ross. Ross is my boyfriend Wesley, who shares many similar traits as Ross. Both are very into knowledge and learning as much as they can– and sharing it with the rest of the group. Often Ross annoys the rest of the gang because he knows the scientific names, history, and everything about everything. I can always find Wes looking up information on things that he doesn’t know and then stores that knowledge and can recall it on the drop of a hat. Both are nerdy and but that’s what makes them so cute. Both are also extremely stubborn and competitive. Ross never ever wants to admit that he is wrong and will go to extreme lengths to prove his point. Wes is the same way and will never give up if he think’s that his view of something is right… even if it is as minuscule  as an opinion on Harry Potter. Although they have that side to them, they also have a very gentle sweet side that wants to protect the people they love and make sure that they are happy. If something is bothering me, Wes will do whatever he has to to make it better and will help me through anything. Just like Ross and Rachel, Wes and I are in a relationship, and have deep feelings for each other.

And that makes me Rachel. I identify with her on many levels, including that we share our name. She is very into fashion, and decorating, and is a social butterfly. She also wants to make it on her own, she is very independent and takes pride in what she accomplishes. She cares for everyone very deeply and wants what is best for them. She also sometimes makes bad decisions and relies on her friends to pick her back up. Luckily for me, and for her, our friends are always there for us.

Lovin’ the Leaves

 

So loving fall has been portrayed by the public as something “basic” and is meaningless because “everyone loves fall”. Personally, I don’t find that a bad thing- who cares if everyone loves fall? Everyone loves it because fall is AMAZING. Fall has many wonderful aspects: pumpkin patches, apple cider, bonfires, Halloween, sweaters and boots, cuddling and pumpkin flavored everything. However one of  my favorite parts of this great season is the changing leaves. I have a slight obsession with spending time outside on nice days, in fact being inside when the weather is nice is my biggest pet peeve. Even if I have nothing to do outside, I’ll just go sit out there so that I don’t feel guilty about being inside. This kicks into high gear in the fall because I know that warm sunny days are coming to and  end as winter moves in. Another reason why this is heightened in the fall is because I want to soak up every minute of the colored leaves.

The beauty of the leaves is all over, sometimes in a single tree that almost seems to be on fire with the vibrant oranges, reds, and yellows. Sometimes the beauty comes in the form of a whole hill covered with trees or a path lined with all the season’s colors.

View from my camping spot in Wisconsin over Fall Break.

When the leaves fall around me as I walk by or I hear the crunch of the leaves under my feet I can’t help but smile. It is hard to put into words the feeling that it gives, but it seems to be the essence of pure simple happiness. When I see a large group of leaves on the ground, I instantly have the urge to run through them or throw them in the air. The other day I was riding my bike in a residential area just off campus and saw multiple people raking leaves- not to jump in, but to bag and throw away— FALL HATERS was all I could think as I rode by.

I even go out of my way to see these leaves, including taking 45 minute drives purely to enjoy the leaves on the backroads of my hometown.

This mild obsession with fall and the leaves may be silly but for a few weeks, something as simple as a leaf can put a smile on my face and to me that’s something to fully enjoy.

My hometown of Galena, Illinois